Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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Blonde Jokes - Answer and Question

Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?

A: A translator.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette jump off a bridge, who would hit the water first?

A: The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop to ask for directions.

Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?

A: Wave

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Q: Why does it work?

A: “Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?”

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?

A: “Oh look! Donut seeds!”

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

A: “Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

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Painting Contractor

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

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Desert Island

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are stuck on a deserted island. One day the red head found a magic lamp. She rubbed it and a genie came out. He said, “For letting me out, I will grant each of you one wish.” So the brunette says, ” I wish I were with my boyfriend.” So she disappers and is taken to her boyfriend’s house. The red head says, “I wish I were with my family.” Then she disappers into her family’s house. Then the blonde says, “Aw, I’m lonely, I wish my friends were here.”

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Paris Hilton Magical Boobies

I don’t know what’s going on with Paris Hilton’s boobs, sometime they’re huge sometimes they look like a couple of raisins on a bread board

Magical Boobies Mode On

Magical Boobies Mode Off

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Megan Fox

Quotes
"It's so odd. I like the bad-boy types. Generally, the guy I'm attracted to is the guy in the club with all the tattoos and nail polish. He's usually the lead singer in a punk band and plays guitar. But my serious boyfriends are relatively clean-cut, nice guys."
- Megan Fox

Biography
Born in Rockwood, Tennessee, on May 16, 1986, Megan Denise Fox started taking drama and dance lessons at the age of 5 and thrived from the very beginning. Despite a move to Florida when she was 10, Megan's parents did not let their youngest daughter forgo her talent, and so the future actress continued her training.
megan fox in confessions of a teenage drama queen

By age 13, Megan Fox's dancing led to modeling opportunities. In 1999, she won several awards at the American Modeling and Talent Convention in Hilton Head, South Carolina. With this new credit, Fox began venturing into acting, and after she moved to Los Angeles, a future career in showbiz looked probable. Fox made her acting debut in 2001, appearing in the straight-to-video release Holiday in the Sun, a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen film. She then garnered a recurring role in the low-key soap opera Ocean Ave. and appeared in an episode of the Amanda Bynes series What I Like About You.

In 2004, Megan Fox joined the legion of female teens overtaking Hollywood, appearing alongside Lindsay Lohan in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. She also had a role in the TV movie Crimes of Fashion and secured a spot on the Kelly Ripa-led sitcom Hope & Faith.

Megan Fox uses her smokin' body as a canvas. She has around eight tattoos, including a portrait of Marilyn Monroe. Her provocative cover shoot for GQ's October 2008 issue, shot by none other than the dirty-minded Terry Richardson of Vice magazine fame, caused a stir on newsstands, and many of the risqué photos were soon plastered on blogs dedicated to Megan. Google "Megan Fox" and "GQ" to see why. She lives up to her last name.

Megan Fox recently announced that she has split with her former fiance Brian Austin Green. Think you have a chance? While in Berlin promoting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Fox was asked who she'd be interested in dating next. Her response? "Oh I don't know. There is this Korean Justin Timberlake named Rain, and I'm really on his situation now. I'm trying to fix this up. I'm working hard."

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